Welcome to July, PRIM babes!
Independence Day may be right around the corner (and don’t you worry, we have you covered with last-minute holiday outfits! In fact, keep reading for a very special offer), but we’re going to be talking about it all month. Whether it’s the freedoms we have in this country, freedom from societal expectations or making our own freedom by being our own #GirlBosses—whatever freedom means to you, we’re celebrating it. Read on, as some members of the #PRIMtribe reflect on what it means to them:
I remember right after I started working at PRIM, Missy treated me to dinner and some dating wisdom someone had imparted onto her: “Don’t get married before you turn 30… because between ages 25 to 30 you change and learn so much about yourself.” I was 28 at the time. I had gotten close to marriage, though had never been engaged. And while her advice was encouraging, I still secretly hoped I’d at least be in a serious relationship by the time 30 rolled around, especially considering all my friends (not to mention exes) were settling down and starting families all around me.
I’ll be 31 in a month, and I’m no closer to marriage than I was that night. Missy has seen—well, heard about—all of my dating highs and lows since then. I even got myself into that serious relationship. Although he appeared to be marriage material on the outside (owned his house, was ready to settle down, had a stable, high-paying job, blah blah blah), I knew in my heart he wasn’t for me. Saying goodbye was hard, but I’d rather be alone than feigning happiness. I also dated a lot of guys that had nothing long-term to offer me and/or were completely wrong for me. With every “failed” relationship, I grew a little closer to myself.
With each of my dating missteps, I truly started to enjoy my own company. In fact, most nights I preferred to be alone at home, in my tiny studio, than out with others. But more importantly, I realized I don’t need someone else—anything outside of myself, really—to complete me. For so long, I was looking for a partner to validate my feelings, stand up for me, take care of me… until I learned I could do all of those things for myself. That has been the most empowering feeling of all.
Now, I don’t judge anyone that married early/before that milestone. I am truly happy for people that have found someone they love so much that they want to share the rest of their lives and space with that person. I still want that for myself. But I don’t need it to be happy or complete me. Being comfortable and happy with who I am is what independence means to me, and it has been the greatest gift that my 30s have brought me (so far).
The literal definition of independence is “the fact or state of being independent,” or even better put by Ne-Yo: “She got her own thing, that’s why I love her, Miss Independent.” I was raised by a single mother, in a time when it wasn’t as common as it is today. I never felt a lack or that anything was incomplete in my life. If anything, my mother Debra taught me independence, which has been a huge part of my journey and life. I’ve lived on my own and away from my family since I was 24. I’ve never felt alone, even living far away, because I’ve been blessed with such a strong family base. I was once told by my mother that she is so grateful to have “given me roots to call home but wings to fly on my own.” Independence has been living on my own, supporting myself financially, building my dream life of doing what I love at PRIM and fulfilling my life intentions and dreams every day.
To me, independence means having the ability to think, believe, and act freely and on your own terms. Having independence is important to me because it instills a sense of accomplishment when I get something done, knowing it was all my doing. It builds confidence and feeds into self-love when I feel like something got done on my own merit. Additionally, being an “independent woman” is important because it demands respect and screams, “I’m here, and I’m in charge of my life.” Taking charge of your own life, accomplishments, and mistakes is what being independent as a person is all about!
Independence means knowing that I can make it on my own without having to rely on anyone else.
We want to know what it means to you! Reply in the comments below, or share your own empowering stories with us in stores or on social media. When you come in this week, you’ll get 20% OFF all red, white and blue items PLUS site-wide with code HAPPY4TH.